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Are Vampires Real?

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In fact, you are reading the words of a bonafied night dwelling, black-loving, blood-lusting, emotionally sensitive, hipster-style vampire. I am the modern, 21st century version Selene; only I exist in real life and don't run around wearing leather and wielding firearms.

Vampires have been dubbed monsters from stories that have passed down for thousands of years. Even before the 18th century, when the first vampire stories were told, tales were passed along of dead bodies that looked swollen, with blood oozing from eyes and mouth. We now know that when a human body dies the internal gasses cause the body to swell, and blood at times will ooze out of various orifices. The eyes and mouth are the easiest to notice and these sights gave ways to early stories of bodies “waking up” and attacking the living. Now we know the real causes with the help of modern science, which has helped place “vampirism” on the shelf of mythology and other horror stories of things that go “bump in the night”.

And we like it that way.

The question, are vampires real, has always made me laugh. What would make someone think otherwise? Because vampires prefer night over day? Because we obtain sustenance from the blood of others? Is it strange that a person can be predisposed to strength and speed? Well allow me to ask you this: Are blood-sucking lampreys real? Of course they are. Are bats mythological because they prefer caves and fly about at night? If you answer yes, I will insist on a CT scan so we can check your brain functionality and make sure you have not had a stroke recently. And are some people simply built to be better at sports than others? Have you ever seen someone who is a ‘natural’ at something? Those that aren’t naturals can work hard towards a goal, but no matter how much they learn or practice they will never be quite as good or as graceful in the task as a natural.. Is it really so hard to believe that a near-human species can exist who encompasses the traits observed otherwise in nature? Why not – science shows that humans evolved from apes. So why is it illogical to also believe that somewhere in early history a genetic line was predisposed to evolving into what is now known as a vampire?

What is our origin?

Humans have long argued about the validity of creationism and evolution. Scholars argue between one or the other, and some believe in the existence of both.

The origin of vampires is just as hazy and there is a lot of debate among ourselves. We are quite the scholars and debaters! The question is: were we created or have we evolved into what we now are?

The stories of vampire creationism originate to Adam and his wife before Eve. I won't bore you with all the details but we believe that Adam had another wife, who was born from the earth alongside him, and her name was Lilith. Check out Wikipedia, she is listed there! She left both him and the Garden of Eden to carve her own path. Of course, Adam was given the gift of Eve and he had the partner whom the entire human race is said to have developed from. What happened to Lilith isn't as clear and the stories change depending on the family of vampire you ask. The story I believe is that she mated with an archangel, the resulting lineage being human-like creatures with super human tendencies.

Stories based on evolution tell of humans who evolved into vampires from changes to DNA. A disease of sorts that started with the bite of a vampire bat that affected our DNA and altered the fundamental way our bodies operate.

We are not 100% sure which story is correct, though some vampires swear that they do, and like I said, we love to debate.

Where have we been and where are we now?

Vampires learned early-on to conceal their identities and blend in with the human race. People don't like what they don't understand. We are clearly superior in intelligence, strength, and live longer life-spans, but contrary to popular belief we are not immortal and our numbers are fewer. We do not want to start a war – especially one where we are outnumbered.

Vampires seek to avoid war and conflict wherever possible. We have the ability to coerce humans with minimal effort, allowing us to feed easily without harming them, which is what we prefer. It seems absurd to have to go to extreme lengths every time you have to feed and you also wouldn’t want to call unnecessary attention to your favourite feeding grounds and haunts by killing the humans that frequent those places. The primary reason for our naturally seductive nature is to aid us in feeding and we make great use of that very handy attribute.

We are emotional and passionately driven; therefore many vampires prefer to make our living in the arts. Even in early history, families of vampires travelled, disguised as gypsies, selling crafts or artwork at dusk or dawn, while the sun was low. We have also been fond of the hospitality business and enjoy the nearly endless supply of new humans that brings us into contact with as potential friends or meals.

Popular career choices nowadays include nightclub/lounge and bar ownership, art galleries curator, disc jockey, literary researchers, novelists, and a few (in my opinion, masochistic) vamps seek employment in the medical field. The ones who are able to master their blood lust tend to be quite successful at it as they work the night shifts that are less desired by most humans.

We do not disintegrate in the sun – that's a tale we all find amusing, but it does aid our cause in remaining concealed as few look to find us in the sun. While we do not prefer the sun because our eyes are sensitive to light and we burn rather easily, we are otherwise unaffected by indirect sunlight or short walks from the restaurant to the car for example.

We are hedonistic, or pleasure seekers with keen senses and we are extremely indulgent of our desires, especially when it comes to taste. Blood sustains us because we have an iron deficiency, but that doesn't mean we don't appreciate fine food or drinks. Chocolate? Bring me the finest! Lobster and caviare? Yes, please! Wine? Absolutely – unless there is champagne! Human food does not taste like dirt in our mouths or revolt us, but when we have it we want it to be good and we choose only the best options. My favorite human meal is sirloin steak, rare, with a side of grilled red potatoes covered in a red wine reduction sauce. Serve that to me with raw oysters as an appetizer and the wrist of a 6'5” lumberjack with 2 day stubble to nibble on for desert and you have a rather pleased Vampires on your hands and I will be frequenting your fine establishment again, Good Sir.

Yes, Vampires are Real. Perhaps I shouldn't be admitting this, but maybe awareness is the first step to acceptance. Whether you know it or not we have been co-existing for thousands of years, so you might as well get used to the idea. We are around and we are not going anywhere. See you soon.